Do You Feel Invisible? A Personal Question.

So. The title of this newsletter. What gives, eh?

I started a TikTok after losing my job, just something fun and new to do. For the most part, I just repost my Instagram travel vids, but I’m determined to start posting more talking-to-the-camera bits. <grimace emoji> The one that’s done the best so far: “Do you feel invisible?”—a post I did before interviewing the great author Lyn Slater, who rose to fame as the “Accidental Icon” on Instagram—while in her 60s.

The idea that she became the most visible (almost a million followers on Insta!) at a time when most women feel invisible, intrigued me.

I posted about it. “Do you feel invisible?” I asked.

To this day, “over 40 and feeling invisible” is the number-one-search people use to find my page.

@callmeabbs8

📚 The Accidental Icon found fame in her 60s—then pivoted again. Lyn Slater’s memoir: How to be Old. She was rhe best interview! #over40 #o... See more

The irony is, I don’t feel invisible. As I navigate my year of career change, I often wish I were less visible—hence starting a tiny-for-now Beehiiv without promoting it and a small TikTok channel I have no business being on. (I’m terrible.) But my Instagram seems too big and too filled with people who know that a small (in both senses of the word) group of people I once considered friends tried to erase the five years of blood, sweat and tears I put into my journalism job the second I was outta there.

But being quiet is not my destiny, and I know it; I must write and share…Meanwhile, some very intelligent teenagers told me this week that they are dying for the confidence to speak up, to know that what they have to say matters. For them and their bright futures, we must fight the good fight.

My posts have taught me that the opinions on this topic have a very wide range. Some of the comments and conversations that have come up:

Ambivalance

• “Invisible at 62. But I do get more respect because I am older.”

• “I like being behind the scenes but am pushing myself to be on TikTok.”

Peace

• “When I turned invisible around age 50 it was so wonderful.”

• “I love being Gen X and being invisible. Nobody bothers me.”

• “Everything about invisibility is liberating!”

Angst

• My voice doesn’t matter. I want to feel confident again that when I speak up my words are being heard.

• I am invisible at home, with the people I love most. My husband checks out after work, and to my kids I am just the lady who feeds them.

We have one life, friends. And our only goal, really, is to make it our own. Forget what society says, ignore your family’s opinions when your gut says to, get over your fears, speak up—whether it’s on social media or to just one person you really wish would listen…get comfortable getting uncomfortable.

Think I’m not walking the walk? I cringe as I press “publish” but know that I’m brave enough to deal with that discomfort. Eventually, I will uncomfortably start promoting this because I will never, ever lose my voice. No amount of disappearing journalism jobs or AI-generated “writing” will ever take the place of real connections.

I will always be heard. I am not invisible.

How did this all start? My intro post can be read here!